When my mother-in-law, Melissa, came over to help with my colicky baby while my husband was away, I thought I’d finally get a much-needed break. But what happened during those few hours left me questioning her intentions, my instincts as a mother, and even my marriage.
I sank into the couch while Emily’s faint cries echoed from the nursery. I didn’t even have the energy to respond right away.
Three months in, and I still wasn’t sure how people did this. How did they care for a colicky baby, sleep two hours at a time, and still look like they had it all together?
My hair hadn’t seen a brush in two days, and my shirt was a patchwork of spit-up stains.
Peter had called earlier.
“How are my girls?” He’d asked.
“We’re surviving,” I said with a weak laugh, bouncing Emily on my shoulder. “You’re lucky you’re on the road and not stuck here with this little tyrant.”
“Thanks, babe,” he said. “I’ll let her know. She’s making dinner too, so you’ll have one less thing to worry about.”
The next day, Melissa showed up promptly at noon, as she always did. She breezed through the door carrying a casserole dish and a tote bag.
“Hi, Melissa,” I greeted her, shifting Emily in my arms.
“Oh, Alicia,” she said, drawing out my name like she was chastising a child. “You look pale. Are you eating enough? You can’t pour from an empty cup, you know.”
“I’m trying,” I forced a smile. “It’s just been a lot.”
Melissa reached out to take Emily from me, her bracelets jingling.
“Of course it has. But that’s motherhood,” she said. “You should’ve seen Peter as a baby. He cried for hours on end. I never let myself get so worn out, though.”
I wanted to snap back, but I didn’t have the energy to do that.
“Well, I appreciate you being here,” I said instead, handing her Emily.
“Of course. That’s what family is for,” she said, bouncing Emily gently. “Now, go lie down. You look like you could fall over any second.”
“She just ate, so she might fuss a little,” I warned her. “The baby monitor is in the nursery, and my phone is charging in the bedroom if you need me.”
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” she smiled. “I raised three kids. I think I can handle my granddaughter for a couple of hours.”
I nodded, even though something about her tone made my stomach twist.
As I walked to the bedroom, I heard her muttering, “Babies today are so coddled. I never worried so much for my kids.”
I jolted awake to the sound of Emily’s piercing cry. My heart raced as I scrambled for my phone to check the time, but it wasn’t on the nightstand where I’d left it. The baby monitor’s screen was black, too.
I immediately threw off the covers and bolted to her room.
Emily was in her crib, crying because she’d been left unattended.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, scooping her up.
Her cries broke my heart as I tried to soothe her. At that point, I realized Melissa hadn’t even changed Emily’s diaper.
I immediately grabbed the diaper bag from the corner, fumbling with the wipes and a fresh diaper. As I changed her, I couldn’t stop the questions racing through my mind.
Why hadn’t Melissa come to check on her? And where was my phone?
Once Emily was settled, I carried her with me as I searched the house. The kitchen was empty. The living room was, too.
Then I saw someone move outside the kitchen window. It was her.
Melissa was standing outside, laughing with the phone pressed to her ear.
What the heck? I thought.
I put Emily back in the crib.
“I’ll be right back, baby,” I smiled and placed her favorite soft toy beside her. I didn’t want her to watch us argue.
Then, I stormed to the backdoor and threw it open.
“Melissa!” I shouted.
She jumped, nearly dropping the phone. “Oh, Alicia. You’re awake.”
“Why was my daughter crying while you’re out here on the phone?” I demanded. “And why do you have my phone?”
Melissa took a deep breath.
“I was talking to Peter,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He called your phone, so I answered it. I didn’t want to wake you, so I brought it outside.”
“You unplugged the baby monitor too, didn’t you?” I snapped. “That’s why I didn’t hear her crying.”
Melissa sighed, as if I were the one being unreasonable.
“Yes, I unplugged it. You needed your rest, and I thought if she cried, it might wake you. But she wasn’t crying when I stepped outside.”
I knew she wasn’t going to accept her mistake.
“How long have you been on the phone?” I demanded.
Melissa glanced at the screen. “Thirty-seven minutes,” she said as if it were nothing.
Thirty-seven minutes. Wow.
“You left her alone for thirty-seven minutes? Do you know what you’ve done? She was crying when I picked her up.”
“She wasn’t crying the whole time,” Melissa retorted, her tone defensive now. “And crying doesn’t hurt babies. Honestly, Alicia, you’re overreacting. You should be grateful I’m here at all.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Grateful? You were supposed to be helping me, Melissa. Instead, you ignored my daughter and took my phone—”
“Well, Peter wanted to check in on you,” she interrupted. “And I was doing you a favor by letting you sleep!”
“That wasn’t a favor,” I shot back. “You stole my phone, unplugged the monitor, and left Emily in there. If I hadn’t woken up, who knows how long you would’ve been on the phone!”
Melissa folded her arms. “You’re being dramatic, Alicia. Calm down.”
“I’m not,” I said. “You know what, Melissa? You need to leave. Now.”
Melissa’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You heard me. Go. I don’t trust you to look after Emily.”
“You can’t be serious. After everything I’ve done for you—”
“Leave,” I repeated, cutting her off. “And don’t come back unless Peter is home.”
Melissa muttered something under her breath as she grabbed her purse and stormed out.
Back inside, I went to Emily’s room and picked her up. She was still playing with the toy.
“Mommy’s back, my love,” I said as I held her close.
Her soft breaths against my chest were the only thing keeping me grounded while my mind replayed the scene over and over.
Had I overreacted? I thought.
Melissa was Peter’s mother, after all. She’d raised three kids. But the sounds of Emily’s cries kept ringing in my mind.
No, I told myself firmly. I did the right thing.
Still, as I rocked Emily to sleep that night, I couldn’t shake the dread creeping into my chest. What would Peter say when he found out?
Peter came home the next evening.
I was in the living room, bouncing Emily on my knee. My stomach clenched when I saw him, knowing we had to talk about what had happened.
“Hey, babe,” he said, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. “How are my girls?”
I managed a weak smile. “We’re okay. Emily’s been a little fussy, but we’re fine.”
He took her from my arms.
“Hey, princess,” he said softly. “Daddy’s home.”
For a moment, I almost let it go. The smile on Peter’s face when Emily gripped his finger almost made me forget how angry I’d been just 24 hours ago.
Almost.
“Peter,” I began. “We need to talk about your mom.”
He looked up, his brow furrowing. “What about her?”
“She came over yesterday to help, but things didn’t go well.”
“What do you mean?” he asked. “She said she was going to watch Emily and make dinner so you could rest.”
“That’s what I thought, too,” I said. “But she unplugged the baby monitor, took my phone outside, and left Emily in her crib for over thirty minutes while she talked to you.”
“She told me she answered your phone because you were asleep and didn’t want to disturb you.”
“She didn’t just answer it, Peter. She took it outside and left our daughter completely unattended. I woke up to Emily crying while your mom was laughing on the phone.”
He sighed. “She didn’t mean any harm, Alicia. She was trying to help you get some rest. You’ve been saying for weeks how exhausted you are—”
“And you think this helped?” I interrupted. “She unplugged the monitor and took my phone. How do you think this helped?”
“But you didn’t have to kick her out!” he argued.
“How can you defend her, Peter? After knowing what she did?”
“She came to help us, Alicia,” he said. “She didn’t have to come over at all, but she did it because she cares about you and Emily. And now, thanks to you, she feels like she’s not welcome here anymore.”
“Are you serious? You’re more worried about her feelings than about what she did?”
“I’m just saying you could’ve handled it better,” he said. “She already feels stupid enough about the whole thing. Don’t be surprised if she never offers to help again.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.
What was the point? He wasn’t going to see it my way. He never did when it came to Melissa.
“Fine,” I said quietly, turning away from him.
Peter sighed again and sat down with Emily, gently rocking her in his arms. I watched him for a moment, feeling the distance between us grow.
That night, as I lay in bed, I couldn’t stop replaying our argument in my head. Maybe I could’ve handled things differently. Maybe I shouldn’t have told Melissa to leave.
But every time I pictured Melissa laughing on the phone after leaving my daughter inside, my resolve hardened.
I wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing or burned a bridge I’d one day regret. All I knew was that my daughter deserved better.
Was I wrong?