A teenage daughter stunned her mother with the news of her pregnancy, blaming the situation on her. Despite the daughter’s demand that her mother raise the child, the mother resolutely refused and turned to online platforms for advice. Despite feeling depressed, the mother remained adamant in her decision.
A mom shared on Reddit the journey she has taken with her 18-year-old daughter to date. She told how tense the relationship between them had been since the teenager turned 16.
The mother noted that 2024 was especially difficult because her daughter wanted to take a break for a year before going to a local college, but unfortunately she is unemployed.
According to the teen’s mom, her daughter, who is not binary, has been unemployed since Thanksgiving in 2023, as she quit her last job during the Black Friday period. After leaving this job, the teenager changed four to five jobs in 2024, quitting all of them, while claiming that these working conditions discriminate against her based on her personality.
Mom was on the verge of giving her daughter an ultimatum when she came to her with news that shocked her. According to the teenager’s mom, she wanted to advise her daughter to go to school full-time in the upcoming semester, get a full-time job or move and live with her friends.
The bomb exploded before she could offer her daughter this choice, as the teenager came to her mother and told her that she was five months pregnant. Shockingly, a teenager blamed her mom for her pregnancy. She noted that she was pregnant because her mother did not prescribe puberty-blocking hormones to her, even after she revealed her identity two years ago.
The teenager also blamed her mother for her pregnancy, as she accused her of trying to “feminize her” by forcing her to take birth control pills. The daughter did not take birth control pills; she usually threw away her prescription because she did not want her mother to succeed in feminizing her.
Mom expressed surprise at the revelation about birth control, saying it was the first time she had heard about it. She mentioned the pill-free, estrogen-free options, noting that if her daughter wanted them, all she had to do was ask and she would take her to the doctor.
In addition, the mother noted that her daughter had her own car and a medical card, but she was not sure how she would have coped with the surcharge without work. She recalled that at her daughter’s old high school they distributed free condoms, stressing that the teenager had access to contraceptives, but chose not to use them.
“It’s getting worse,” the mother said, mentioning that her daughter’s abortion period had expired. She stressed that she would support her daughter if she chose this option. Despite the fact that she lived in a state protected from abortion and had financial resources, her daughter knew about her pregnancy for about two months and did not take advantage of this option.
Moreover, the mother said that the teenager began to perceive the child as a sibling. She expected her mother to raise the child as her own, explaining the pregnancy by the mother’s refusal to accept her non-binary condition. The daughter insisted that it was the mother’s responsibility to raise the child, in fact, adding another child to the family. However, the mother firmly stated that she would not raise her daughter’s child.
Mom was so angry when her daughter said she wanted her to raise the child as her own that she forgot to ask the teenager who the father of her unborn child was. After cooling off, she really hoped that her child had a secret boyfriend. “She does have a few friends who were born men, but now they don’t identify themselves that way either,” the mother noted, referring to her daughter’s identity.
The mother expressed concern about her daughter, who locked herself in her room for 12 hours, crying loudly. She suggested that she might not come out until she was hungry, since she had an adjoining bathroom and probably had snacks stashed there.
“I also don’t know where to go next. Being pregnant sucks and everything gets messed up in your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling,” added the mom, who was stunned at the moment and felt terrible about the whole situation.
The mom also wondered how to help her daughter embrace the feminine aspects of childbirth and possibly breastfeeding while still being sensitive to her non-binary identity. Unsure of her own role and whether she was handling the situation correctly, the mom said she felt like their daughter was lost in a “crazy city” because of the way the teenager was behaving.
Despite the mother’s reluctance to raise her daughter’s child, she wondered at what point she should intervene and take the adult child to the hospital. Later, the mother reported that in the middle of the night she overheard her daughter leaving and suspected that she intended to leave without saying anything.
The teenager decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends, who, as the mother suspected, could be the father of the child. Before leaving, the daughter informed her mother that she had already called the police to assure them that she was leaving of her own free will and was in no danger. The mother found this gesture insulting because she had no intention of claiming her 18-year-old daughter as a runaway.
Despite the current situation, the mother told her daughter that she needed to work out the details if she intended to be a joint parent with her father. She also made it clear that her daughters would be happy to return home as soon as she had a plan ready. Their communication was short-lived, as the teenager was already heading for the exit.
The mom then told the Reddit editors that she was wondering if she had raised a spoiled child or someone with an emerging personality disorder. She sought advice online from people who were not emotionally involved in the issue and asked the editors how she could support her daughter by holding her responsible for her child.
The mother also asked if she had done wrong to her daughter. “Adult actions have consequences for adults, and she needs to get used to it,” one user replied. One person sided with Mom, saying she wasn’t wrong about “not wanting to raise a child that doesn’t belong to you.”
Another user commented: “Now she is an adult and must take responsibility for her child herself. I’m sure you’ll still be there when she gives birth-after all, you’re her mom-and hopefully she’ll grow up and understand what was wrong with her behavior.”
The user also noticed that the daughter expected her mother to somehow read her mind. The man expressed sadness at his daughter’s apparent lack of appreciation for everything her mother had done for her, noting that she seemed to want more and more from her.